We Only Reveal Patient Data to the Tabloids

If you don't read the tabloids, you can always read Facebook, or the backs of cereal boxes. And you'll find lots of secret, coded information in model railroad magazines. The editors of these magazines are all in a gigantic occult conspiracy to make everybody watch trains.

Just look at this magazine! At first glance, you'd think it's nothing more than another innocent compendium of interesting details and pictures on an endlessly fascinating subject. But it's more than that--much more.

If you count the number of pages in each magazine, divide by the number of pyramids in Egypt, and multiply by the number of writers in the Louvre, you'll get the secret number that unlocks a vault deep in the bowels of the Royal Ontario Museum.

One of the curators left his lunch in there, and he wants it back.

Here's a thing from Marks and Spencer called a Chocolate Viennese Sandwich. You can eat any number of these and never get a secret code. But that's the thing about chocolate--it doesn't matter!

This post brought to you by Mcbowel's Inflammable Porridge--if it doesn't light you up, it's not breakfast!

Happy trails....