It's amazing how useful a Swiss Army pocket knife can be--I used to take one with me whenever I traveled anywhere, in case the airline lost me along with my luggage, and I had to forage for food and shelter in the wilds of some remote area like Chicago or Tokyo.
I've used one for everything from opening threatening letters and bills to cutting through elaborate ribbons on presents, slitting through the protective armor encasing some types of chocolate bar, unscrewing the cases on tiny electronic devices to see if I could reanimate their corpses, and cutting suspicious looking bits out of apples and other fruits (you can never be too careful when you're eating anything that isn't chocolate) etc.
No, I don't have any interest in the company--they don't pay me, I don't own any of their stock, and they've never even heard of me. I just like Swiss Army knives--the little ones that fit in your pocket and can be produced every time you get a package in the mail that's wrapped in kryptonite tape, or whenever you're attacked on the streets of Toronto by a deranged wombat.
Unfortunately, thanks to the bad guys, you can no longer take these little knives on an airplane, which means, when you finally arrive at your destination, should you choose to travel anywhere, you'll be utterly defenseless against the armor-plated packaging encasing any snacks you might purchase. And if you're attacked by a deranged wombat, it's game over.
Ah well, if you're not allowed a pocket knife, you can at least indulge in a nice
Why do I torment myself with these pictures!
Here's a picture of a building being utterly destroyed.
Good times!
Remember, Santa Claus is watching you....
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