I'm late for some reason, probably because I slept in.

I have to get down to the shops before all of the demolition equipment is sold out; I was thinking of getting something like this to put under the tree for my wife, or this. I don't know; they might not sell these at the Hudson's Bay Company.

It's easier to think about chocolate cream pie than it is to think about presents. My brain hurts already.

Well, I'm off.

Don't eat anything I wouldn't eat....

Crashed Computer Causes Time Travel

Sometimes it's better not to wake a sleeping computer.

It's Friday--spring is getting a little closer. Soon the sun will be bright again, the robins will be back, green leaves will be rustling softly in the breeze, the flower children will be migrating to San Francisco....

In the meantime, here are some chocolate pancakes that are supposed to be fast and easy to make. You probably shouldn't look at this recipe if you're on a diet of rutabagas and tea, but, otherwise, it won't attack you.

Here's a chocolate hippopotamus for people who can't wait for chocolate bunnies to show up.

If you're feeling lonely at Christmas, consider inviting one of these Hitachi demolition units into your home for dinner. It's a lovely machine, with a magnificent set of jaws that could easily crack all of your nuts, and probably help you unwrap presents too.

Your horoscope for today will be available tomorrow.

Watch for falling rocks....

Never Disappoint a Skunk

Many people are so preoccupied with daily life, they never notice UFO's.

Some people are too busy eating chocolate waffles, like these, to notice anything at all.

These waffles are from Real Mom Kitchen, where you'll find a recipe, and other good things to eat.

Today's blog entry will be short, without the usual references to demolition machines, railway locomotives, tasty chocolate, or Jean-Paul Sartre.

There won't even be a picture of cute kittens.

Maybe tomorrow....

You Wish to go to Ancient Rome, Zox?

Be careful what others think you wish for.

Some people call Earth a spaceship, and say that it's getting overcrowded. But in countries like Japan, the population is declining.

Here is another picture of a 4-ton chocolate Christmas tree made by chocolatier Patrick Roger for France's annual Telethon. The site posting this, by the way, is actually a chocolate-lover's guide to Paris, so if you're planning an expedition there, give it a look.

I wonder if anyone has ever made a chocolate birch bark canoe, or a giant chocolate maple leaf.

Here is yet another amazing photo of a demolition machine reaching high into the air to destroy an old building. This one is so good, I'd like to put it up in our living room, but when I mentioned it to my wife, she said 'NO WAY!' for some reason.

There's no accounting for taste, I guess.

The site posting it is Gelog Construction Equipment, and their motto is "obsessed about the construction equipment industry''. I like that--it's a good, healthy obsession. I think people should spend less time playing video games, and more time driving around in demolition machines, destroying things.

Tie me kangaroo down, sport.....

You Will Find Them if you Look in the Right Place

Everything is written somewhere, but what does it all mean?

Here are some more chocolate pancakes, featuring a certain amount of fruit to guarantee healthy eating. They were posted on the Prepared Pantry site along with other kinds of pancakes, all of which look eminently eatable.

It's important to eat.

Food sculpture seems to be a rising art form, although I don't know how the artists manage to finish a project without eating their art. Here, from Jim Victor, sculptor, and his wife, Marie Pelton, also a sculptor, is a gallery featuring their sculptures in butter, chocolate, and other food items. The art is intricate, detailed, and amazing--there are cowboys, farms, houses, all kinds of animals, and copies of classical works.

Can such things be?

And here, from tramac.com, is a nice gallery featuring demolition attachments. These are very good photos because they show you the demolition attachments removed from their plastic bubble wrap and actually working, so you can see what they do.

So many interesting things in the world, and so little time!

Tie me kangaroo down, sport.....

St. George will Like me When I'm a Parrot.

How to win friends and influence people--become a parrot!

Here's a little something for people who can't get enough chocolate, or find themselves bored with ordinary chocolate bars--it's a 22-ft chocolate sculpture of the Rockefeller Center, the Chrysler Building, and the Empire State Building.

Chef Alain Roby made it with over 1,000 kg of chocolate, and it's now in the Guinness Book of Records.

If you like this, there are a few more chocolate sculptures, along with lots of information about chocolate, on the Chocolate Work site.

For those of you who would like a close-up view of a demolition shear attachment at work--and who wouldn't, really!--here is one from the World News Site.

Hydraulic shears are used for cutting steel, concrete, and other tough items, particularly on sites where there is a risk of fire. So if your neighbor has an oil refinery in his backyard, you might want to use shears to cut down his house, rather than good old cutting torches.

It's off to work we go.....

Hockey Players Will go Anywhere in Search of Pucks

Yes, they will.

I'm running late again, but I do have time to stop and admire this chocolate cream pie from King Arthur Flour, where you'll find the recipe. Actually, this site has quite a lot of recipes, including this one, for a chocolate cream roll.

So much to eat, so little time!

Speaking of demolition sites, here's a superb aerial view of one, featuring several pieces of equipment hard at work. This is from the WRS Compass Company. There's quite a lot of information on their site about demolition, safety concerns, recycling, hazardous materials etc. If you're planning on replacing your pesky neighbor's house with a high-speed rail link or a shopping center, this is the place to start.

Time is passing, the clock is ticking. Soon it will be spring.

Good on spring!

Binky, the Plush Toy Haggis

Aliens haven't yet learned that the most dangerous question anyone in the Universe of Adjustable Manners can possibly ask is "What could go wrong?"

Here's a picture of a useful chocolate pie from inhouserecipes.com. If you can't get your hands on a toy haggis, you can always console yourself with this. Chocolate pies brighten up the darkest house, and make good pets, too, for a few hours.

Here's a superb pair of blue jaws from northerntrack.co.uk, makers of all sorts of fascinating demolition equipment, including shearing, ripping, crushing and sifting devices. Here, nicely set out in a photo collage, are some of the ripping attachments they offer.

There's something fascinating about construction equipment, but I suppose you could say the same thing about tanks and airplanes. So many exciting things to see and do!

I'm off to see the wizard....

Have You Hugged a Haggis Today?

Feeling depressed? Is the world getting you down? Tired of making crop circles? Run, don't walk, to the nearest 'Ducks of Doom' store and buy yourself a plush toy haggis. They come in a variety of colors, and are guaranteed until first use, or until they fall apart--whichever comes first. Some assembly required. Batteries not included. Contents may not match picture on front of box.

Did you know almonds are good for you? Well they are--nine out of ten dentists agree. So here's a bowl of almonds--they're covered in chocolate, of course, but chocolate is an essential part of the food-making process, so it's quite normal, and tasty too.

And if that's not enough chocolate for you, here are some chocolate dinosaurs. Unfortunately, I don't think they're full size; the new craze for healthy eating and limited portions has led some manufacturers to downsize their products, but you can make up for it by acquiring large numbers of these beasts and stacking them on top of one another until they reach a suitable height.

Here is a picture of a great big Bucyrus Erie stripping shovel, in case you want to convert your garden into an open pit mine. You might want to consult your neighbors before starting up your mine, but I'm sure they'll agree that a mine is much easier on the eyes than a withering, unkempt garden full of dandelions that can ruin their lawns.

Here is a really good action shot of a demolition unit smashing a pesky neighbor's demolishing a building. This one should lift your spirits.

Keep the home fires burning....

Look What you Did to our UFO!

There have been few recorded incidents of collisions involving UFO's and camels, overhead cranes, wrecking balls and steam rollers, however it's wise to prepare for any eventuality.

The next time you find yourself driving on the freeway, or just rushing about the city shopping for rutabagas and chocolate, keep an eye out for stray UFO's, and if you spot one, try to see if it's being chased by ducks in steam rollers or on camels. If it is, then run away as fast as you can. Don't forget your car, of course, but split the scene post haste.

Here is a picture of a dark chocolate pecan pie, along with a recipe, from www.hersheys.com. You should probably eat this at lunch, not breakfast, however I'm sure it's nutritious and wholesome, and all of those other things. I don't care; I'll just eat it.

Here is a selection of Cadbury chocolate bars. And here is a picture of a cabbage from the Green Giant Company. The cabbage is undoubtedly better for you. I believe I shall have a cabbage for lunch.

And then a chocolate bar.

Elvis says hello....

This Car is Invulnerable!

Many cars have built-in safety features these days, however, if you want protection against UFO's, you have to order it as a special, optional extra feature. It's bundled with a coffee-cup holder.

It's breakfast time! I was thinking about rutabagas when I came across this image of someone enjoying an enormous chocolate breakfast.

Oh well. if you prefer less decadence in your food, here's a Halloween recipe for Cheerios and chocolate Halloween tarts from familyfreshcooking.com

I'm not thinking about rutabagas anymore.

Remember not to eat too much chocolate; it doesn't grow on trees, you know! Actually, it does.... We are what we eat.

The Christmas trees are up in certain department stores, just in time for Halloween. Merry Boo to all of you, and to all a good night!

Stop That UFO!

Aliens have been getting away with murder lately--abducting people at all hours of the night, making crop circles, stealing one sock from each pair of socks--who knows what evil lurks in their hearts!

Elvis knows. But he can't help us because he's incognito.

Here's a picture of, and a recipe for, Mexican chocolate ice cream from simplyrecipes.com. You won't get this on a UFO, so try not to be abducted by aliens before you sample it.

And for those of you who feel like building a large office tower or apartment building this afternoon, here, from Wikipedia, is a pile driver, which should get you started on the foundation work. You'll need to dig a large hole, of course, but that's a minor thing. Golfers do it all the time.

Finally, here's a nice looking chocolate cake from sugarcups.blogspot.com. This would help you pass the time while you're waiting for the aliens to abduct you. A cake I shall never see, unfortunately.

Oh ye'll take the high road....

Enemy bagpipe, giraffe, and rolling pin astern!

When attacking a UFO, it's wise to use a variety of tools, because you never know which one will be effective. Also, you should make sure you know which is 'port' and which is 'starboard' before you shout commands to your Igor (or Gorina, as the case may be).

It's morning, for some reason.

Here is a picture of a building being demolished. And here is a picture of two diesel locomotives bashing each other.

And here, from the Joy of Baking site,  is a picture of a chocolate pudding, along with a recipe.

So that explains everything.

Every cloud has a chocolate pudding....

Acme All-in-One Kitchen Gadget Found in UFO's Everywhere

What the aliens don't realize, of course, is that the handy, all-in-one kitchen gadget has been superseded by the all-in-one Swiss Army knife, which is not only handy in the kitchen, but can do your tax returns as well (special, corkscrew accounting tool featured on specially marked knife units).

Yes. It's Thanksgiving morning here in wicked auld Toronto, but no one sleeps in because the elderly, deaf and half-blind cat wakes up throughout the night thinking he's all alone and abandoned, and sends out a piercing alarm to summon caregivers and ward off demon dogs.

Here is an ad for an air-raid siren.

And here, on the Bird Face blog, are some pictures of extraordinarily large chocolate bars. And here's yet another giant chocolate bar.

It's time for a healthy, nutritious breakfast. Rutabagas, turnips and beets should do it. And this chocolate croissant pudding recipe from the LA Times--the pudding, not the recipe.

Top o' the morning to ye!

Mount up, Guys; We'll Head 'Em off at the Pass!

You'll find mentions of the phrase "head them off at the pass" as early as 1913 in Webster's, and probably much earlier, in dime novels, but I haven't conducted any research on this; I'll leave it to Beaver. Also, I haven't read enough Westerns--I'll have to get back to them.

Danged rustlers stole my rutabaga crop.

Anyway, if anyone would like to start up a cattle ranch in their living room, here's a picture of a chocolate cow, which would get things going. This cow comes from Yorkshire, so it probably gives puddings instead of milk, but if you're made out of chocolate, you can do whatever you like.

This is getting silly. Here's a picture of a box car.

Shazam!

Resistance is Futile

You, too, can curse in Cthonth, the tongue of the auld religion, but you may need a little practice getting the 'thb', the 'cthh', and the 'thbtt' to come out right. Cthonth is derived from ancient Sumerian, which, itself, is a derivative of Valley Girl talk, from the San Fernando valley.

So, if you happen to run into one of the auld priests, curse him before he curses you, and, like...be like...."S'up doc?"

Enough jocularity. Here are some chocolate ducks. Nothing funny about these little chaps.

And now I will arise and go now, and go to Innisfree....

No--that's not it!

It was a dark and stormy night, in the middle of the afternoon, when morning broke over the enchanted evening, revealing true love across a crowded canoe.

Happy trails....